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So you have been rejected by someone, some people or even by the whole world; it feels bad, you feel like you don’t know what to do and you might even start scanning yourself for anything wrong that can justify this rejection. You may even go to the extent of calling yourself a labels like "loser" or "failure", you might even become depressed.
The shocking truth!!
The main reason behind you experiencing those negative feelings upon being rejected is believing that your worth or value is measured solely on how much you're loved and cared for. When we were children, our culture and our parents taught us that by being nice, people will like us, that we must be good boys and girls so our parents will love us, we've grown up to think that if people like and care for us then we're good, if not then we're bad, maybe even worthless. We have tied our sense of self worth to others' acceptance of and we thus grow happy upon acceptance or low and down if not.
Possible reasons behind rejection
We know that the human mind hardly ever rests before finding a reasonable or logical explanation for the situations it faces. That's why I will be providing you with lots of reasons that can have some one hate or reject you, other than your being worthless. These reasons will support you a lot on your journey of dealing with rejection. People could hate/reject you because:
• They are jealous of you; of your achievements, your looks, or anything else
• They are currently interested in someone else (if it's a relation rejection for example. That does not mean that you are bad; see the Psychology of falling in love sectionfor more information on that)
• They might be afraid of you; they might be afraid you'd take their job, their gf/bf or whatever
• Maybe you absent-mindedly ignored them.
• Maybe you hurt them when they were emotionally sensitive.
• Maybe you have interests that conflict with their own.
• Maybe you look like someone they don't like.
• The mind's halter is just a method that the person's mind uses to make sure that he will stay away from the hated person (in this case it's you)
• Even in job interviews, these reasons can be applicable, after all, the interviewer is not from Mars; he is human and he experiences the same emotions of hatred and jealousy that humans experience.
So as you can see, people may hate or reject you for different reasons, ones that have no relation to whether you're good or bad at all. If you want to deal with rejection and get over it, it's time to know that your self-worth is an internal feeling, even if the whole world rejects you, you are still whoever you are. Don't change yourself to please others, you'll only be selling your identity for acceptance. Be yourself and you will have friends and enemies just like everyone else.
But to do that, you must clearly know who you are. You won't be able to deal with rejection unless you have a written document of your strengths and weaknesses. You must know yourself, or you'll end up having people tell you who you are. You must know what you can do before people create your borders for you, which you'll end up believing, thus creating false beliefs that will only limit your potential. Go now, document you abilities, and document your self judgment. If someone manages to match your self judgment then he has got good insight, else question his judgment abilities.
Happiness is much more than what an article could describe, some people describe happiness as the feeling you experience when you realize that everything is exactly as it should be, some define it as the state of feeling that you experience after reaching your goals while others define it as a having inner peace.
Defining happiness is something that is not so easy, but what’s more important is that you have already experienced it, and so the aim of this article will be to teach you how to be happy rather than giving you a philosophical definition of happiness that won’t help in changing your mood.
I wouldn't say the following could guarantee yourself to feel happy, but however if you followed these steps, possibilites of experiencing a dramatic change on your happiness levels could be felt;
- Know what makes you happy: As I said happiness is perspective dependent, so if you want to be happy you should first know what makes you happy, just try to visualize the thing if it actually became true & you would realize happiness, and upon finding that, ensure to fight for it, and I really mean it, fight for it until you get it.
- Happiness and Love: Having loving friends, a loving partner or a loving family could dramatically affect your happiness levels. When surrounded by love your big problems tend to become smaller and your life is filled with more happiness. Social relationships in general could act as a healthy escapement from the storms of life, however don’t just escape without taking actions to solving your problems, dump your bad feelings by experiencing these beautiful relations and at the same time work towards solving your real problems.
Happiness and life purpose: Having a life purpose may not make you happy on its own but not having a life purpose could make your life a misery. Many people commit suicide because they don’t know why they are here or what they should do in this life. If you want to be happy then seriously consider finding a life purpose.- Positive thinking and optimism: You may have asked yourself, could I feel happy while having a major problem that I don’t have a solution to? Yes you can, by knowing that one day this problem will be solved, this is what is called positive thinking, optimism or hope. Learning how to be a positive thinker will open the door to hope and so to happiness.
- If you see them by themselves, ask if you can sit with them. This is always a first (and effective) step people should take. Chances are the person is lonely and would enjoy your company, even though they do not know you well.
If they say that they would rather be alone, do not press them. If they say they want to be by themselves, take their word for it!
- If you see them in the hallways, smile and wave. Say hi. Be friendly. Do not walk past them coldly or ignore them. You want to make them feel noticed and happy, not overlooked and hurt.
- If you like them enough to be their friend/companion, continue to interact with them! Talk to them everyday; as them to sit with you at lunch; walk to them to their classes; invite them to your house. The options are infinite! By hanging out with them more often you will open up their heart to you. You want them to feel comfortable and relaxed around you, and you want them to enjoy your company just as much as you enjoy theirs.
With a new president on board, it's time DC and WB started working to get these franchises into theaters. movies.ign.com
